MY FIRST MOTHER'S DAY

Although I love being a mother, Mother's Day has never been one of my favorite days.  I have never liked the attention and the fuss on Mother's Day...it always seems like a day of guilt - when the world was obligated to "remember" mothers.  It was however a time of reflection for me...how have I treated my own mother?  Am I worthy of the praise of mothers?  How do I measure up to other mothers?  Of course, we are our own worse critic.  Feelings of inadequacy followed by promises to do better led to stressful Mother's Days in the past.  Now...the damage is done, my children are grown - having children of their own.

I think my favorite Mother's Days were the actual days that I became a mother...the birth of each of my children.  Those first few moments when I held each baby, praying that I wouldn't mess up, hoping that I would be able to show each child how much they were loved and wanted...so fresh from heaven.  My heart was pure and I was humbled and in reality, each child showed me how much my Heavenly Father loved ME, to allow me the privilege of helping Him bring life into this world.  There is just something incredibly sacred about giving birth.

Me & Ben at 4 days old

I remember my first Mother's Day in 1979...Mother's Day was also "Finger Day" (which for the longest time I thought it was "Fanger" Day because of everyone's southern accents).  The Carter's were from Finger, TN and they all gathered in Finger on Mother's Day to pay respects to their mother, Jewel Estelle Massey, who had passed away in the 60s.  Extended family gathered from all over for a little family reunion.  I think we stopped going to Finger shortly after Cindi was born.  It was a long drive and there really wasn't anything for kids to do - just a bunch of adults talking and visiting.  Jeff was also on call a lot and didn't want to drive that far away.

pregnant with Jill

Ben with Great Granddaddy Carter - Eugene Lafayette Carter

It was also difficult to have to "share" Mother's Day with Judy.  I'm sure it was even more difficult for her and the Middleton kids.  It was an awkward time that I was reminded that I wasn't their birth mother as Judy insisted that they sat with her at church on Mother's Day...I would probably feel the same way if I had to share my birth children with another woman.  I can only imagine how difficult it was for her to allow her children to openly show love and affection towards me.  Yet, they have always been sensitive to me and my feelings and always made an effort to sincerely let me know how much they appreciated me on Mother's Day.

My favorite gifts were gifts of the heart; one year Leah put together a CD of my favorite songs with a slide show of various photos with me and each of the kids.  It was very tender and everyone contributed pictures.  I remember looking forward to my Mother's Day phone call from our missionaries.  When Jill was serving her mission in Italy, I got on the phone & she and her companion began singing "I Often Go Walking" in Italian with harmonies...absolutely beautiful!  Every Mother's Day, I still wear the little heart pin that Terri made me when she was is 3rd grade.  I remember how excited she was to give it to me and the look on her face every year when I wore it was priceless.  

But my favorite Mother's Day just might be the year I was interviewed for the Almaden Times (local newspaper) because I was a mother of a large family...I made the cover with a full page picture of me!  It was a positive article and I did enjoy that special recognition/attention.

I am not in this picture.  They thought I was Gina in this photo.