WHAT I'VE DONE DIFFERENTLY THAN MY PARENTS

My mother did a great job raising me. Let's face it, I'm pretty awesome!  I would say that the biggest difference is that I took my children to church & tried to emphasize religion to my family.  Don't get me wrong, my Mother helped me to learn about & believe in God, but organized religion wasn't a part of my family growing up & I have felt a strong desire to make this a part of my family's life.

Another thing we've tried to do is to provide family vacations & opportunities to go fun places together as a family.  This was something we couldn't afford when I was a little girl.  We spent most of our holidays/vacations visiting extended family.  I believe that this has taught me a great appreciation for family & has contributed to my love of family history.  I hope we have taught our family to love their extended family, too, but we tried to focus on fun experiences with our immediate family in an effort to build/strengthen our family unit & provide fun memories together.

One of the most challenging parts of parenting is disciplining - I hated being the bad guy & following through with consequences/punishments.   My dad NEVER disciplined & it was highly unusual for my mom to discipline.  I remember the last time she tried to spank me (for not doing what she had asked me to for the umpteenth time), she grabbed my left hand with her left hand so that her right hand could reach my backside for a whoopin'...I started moving out of her reach but since she had a hold of my hand, we were going in a circle as she was trying to swat at me.  We got to laughing so hard neither of us could remember why I was in trouble in the first place.  She ended up just hugging me & laughing till tears ran down our faces. There was never a doubt this woman loved me & wanted the best for me!

Another challenge is accepting your childrens' choices...sometimes you just want them to do what you say because that's what YOU want!  "Because I say so, that's why!"  However, there are many "good choices" out there.  I learned that if it's not illegal, immoral, or life threatening then it is probably ok even if it isn't something I would choose!  It is also difficult to watch your children suffer & struggle; physically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually.  Often times we are helpless & all we can do is pray for them.  I have also learned that it's okay when your children choose differently than you would...different isn't always "bad" & in reality the choices your children make are theirs to make & their lessons to learn. It is such a scary plan, but it IS the plan.

Of course, one of the most rewarding things about parenting is watching your children  "grow" & develop into remarkable human beings who DO make great choices & build great character.  This includes how they handle their personal challenges & struggles, AND how they rise above those difficulties.

If I had to name a few things my dad taught me it would be "don't drink!"  I believe his drinking was the cause of great heartache - not only in my life, but his.  My dad had a bleeding heart or a "stray dog" mentality.  He always brought stray animals around that needed caring for - he had a soft heart for critters.  My dad was a painter, often out of work, but he painted.  He was actually a decent artist & I believe I inherited some of his talent.

If I had to name a few things my mom taught me it would be "don't smoke!"  Not only did it smell bad, it led to her COPD & eventually cancer, making her last few years physically difficult for her & perhaps shortening her life.  However, my mother was very accepting of others without judging.  She has always been an example of unconditional love & tolerance.

I hope that when my children grow up they will say that they learned this from me...

That they were wanted & loved & that family is the most important thing in this life; however, they may not truly understand this until they are parents themselves.  I hope they remembered that I loved & enjoyed life, that I had a strong testimony of the gospel & I lived what I believed.